I love chains of events.

How I think of Joff coming to be is because of ineffective contraception. Not ours, I hasten to add, but that of an ex-colleague of Mr Effie’s, who was as small as his wife was large. They often had these real huge stand-up ding-dong arguments right in front of us when we’d come round for coffee then they’d be lovey-dovey again the next minute. At that time they frightened me a bit, as I never knew a couple that would openly argue like that outside of tv or film. Aye, sheltered life, me. They already had a wee boy aged one before Mr Effie and I got married and they ended up with three boys aged under three, as they said, because of ineffective contraception. They moved away soon after their last boy was born and we lost touch, but I often wonder if they ever had any more kids.

When I fell pregnant with our oldest Miss Effie Snr, the wife of the couple said to me – “don’t make the same mistake I did and take baby to bed with you.” Indeed at that point she was pregnant with baby no3 and had her toddler and baby no2 both sleeping and breastfeeding in a double bed with her, along with the husband. I seriously doubt anyone got any quality of sleep. They also had a menagerie of pets, a dog, a cat and a budgie. The wife was so tired that she would fall asleep mid-sentence when I dropped in to visit and although I’ll never get any prizes for housewife of the year, I was always secretly a wee bit shocked at the permanent wall-to-wall carpet of wee bits of lego, or plastic dinosaurs and the dog walking through eating toys randomly etc, purely because the woman was just so overwhelmed with tiredness. Ha ha! I never knew then just how messy families could be. How much work is involved. And what of the husband? I hear you ask...to be honest, he always struck me as the fourth child in the household. He expected to come in from work to a home cooked meal of meat and two veg, all the housework and laundry done and rarely seemed to help out at all. Perhaps they were all really struggling but to me he seemed very chauvinistic about his role and responsibilities.

So let's say I was kinda paranoid when Miss Effie Snr was born to make sure she went to sleep in her own cot. No way was I going to end up like that other poor woman! So whether it was the strict but kind routine we imposed on our tiny wee baby or just her own placidness, she was the baby sleeping through the night at two months old. And apart from the odd night teething or post- vaccination, she remained that way.  We thanked our lucky stars and decided to try for another Team Effie baby when she was 5 months old.

Genetics is a funny old game.

The egg that became fertilized that time was one of the 50% of my eggs that carry the Lowe Syndrome mutation. If Miss Effie Snr had been a nightmare baby, would we have tried then for that second baby? Would it still have been the boy we got? Or a *healthy* boy?  Ach, you could go mad trying to work out the whys and wherefores, trying to apportion cause or blame when there is a genetic syndrome in the family.

But I know I thank my lucky stars for knowing that couple now. That chain of events led to the wonder that is Joff the dark destroyer.